He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize