He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
