she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He passed out mid-signature
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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