There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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