if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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