you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
People in love make me want to vomit
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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