How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
