U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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