Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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