ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
