Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
