He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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