I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he shaved USA in his pubs
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
