He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
