I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
