There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
