you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize