Porn is love you can see.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You need Xanax blowdarts
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
