i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
