I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
