i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
