that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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