Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
