her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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