im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
