Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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