Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
