It's like God shit irony all over that family
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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