What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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