I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
do nipples grow back?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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