Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
