Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
