win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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