The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
