just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
