went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
