u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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