i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
