8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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