So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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