watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
