Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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