You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
