God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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