she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
