I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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