He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Its about making memories worth repressing
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
