I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
