Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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