can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
