I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
