Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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