redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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