were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
