Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What drink are we having for lunch?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
