She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
