This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
