i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
try to milk me bitch
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