My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
